Mumbai Defies Jaago Re! And comes up with Bhaago Re!

For a good 6 months an arrogant young man caught people in public to shame them into voting. Jaago Re was his constant rant!
Jaago Re, Jaago Re, Jaago Re!
Newspapers dedicated reams to convince people to exercise their Right to Vote!

30th April was the date fixed by the Election Commission for India’s Economical Hub and its satellite towns to come out and exercise their franchise. One was given the leeway to come anytime between 7.00 AM to 5.00 PM and vote. Thursday was even declared a Holiday to make the process even more convenient for the Mumbaikars.

But did the Mumbaikars go the Jaago Re Way?

Well they got up all right (some earlier than usual in spite of it being a holiday) but not to vote; instead they chose to embark upon a leisure trip, finding the four day weekend to tempting to resist!

Voter awareness campaigns and heart-rending tragedies not with-standing,
Couldn’t–Care- Less Mumbai choose to dishonour their fundamental Right and Duty!
The hypocritical bunch of senseless, unpatriotic, self-obsessed losers had common run-of the mill excuses;

1. It is so hot!!!

I gather that they possibly have the power to switch off the heat while engaged in their mindless, wasteful pursuits of pleasure!

2. My Vote doesn’t count, it won’t make a difference!!!

Well did you ever try to understand the meaning of the pithy saying, “…many small drops make up the ocean…”; while educating your children or advising your friends!

When 10 terrorists sailed to Mumbai and ostentatiously murdered more than 200 innocents on 26th November, 2008;

You Cried Injustice!
You Blamed the Indian Political System!
You Held the Authorities Responsible!

Candle light vigils and Protest marches were organized like nobody’s business. A metropolitan giant exalted that it has finally awoken! It asserted that it has now become enlightened about it’s rights and duties. It claimed that it now understood what it deserves and what it is getting in return!

Was all this pretence? A chimera created by the collective excitement generated by an overpowering tragedy that caught us unawares and totally helpless?

Friends yesterday the voting turn-out of Mumbai was the lowest in the last four general elections at 41.3%. South Mumbai, the constituency where everyone expected spirited voting following the terror attacks of 26/11 and where people made the maximum noise about governance – recorded just 40.3 %, a turnout that is even less than 2004! Mumbai South-Central (my constituency)recorded a dismal 39.6%

After all that has happened in the last few months, after all the eloquent statements made by us, after all those protest marches, the least we could have done was to make use of the one tool in our hands to effect a difference!

The ballot was the one opportunity where we could have changed the administration which failed us (personal view) and made sure that the right people make the decisions for us in the future.

I am proud to say that I honoured my Right and Duty to Vote! I am also proud that many of my friends and relatives did the same. We have exams in a few days but that did not stop us from doing our bit for the country.

I despise those who considered other matters more important than VOTE and I loath their immature and unpatriotic attitude!

On the other hand there were a few who took the effort to register and make it to the polling booth but couldn’t exercise their franchise due to reasons beyond their control. I know you feel terrible but it was not your fault. And compared to the self-obsessed narrow minded infidels, your heart and soul is in the right place! So make it a point to ensure you are not disenfranchised in the future.

DEMOCRACY is a Government

OF the People,
BY the People and
FOR the People!

But to succeed these “people” need to be politically conscious and must recognize their Rights and Duties! Although vigilant about our Rights when it concerns us, we conveniently forget our Duties towards our nation. If we cannot be responsible Citizens of India we cannot accept our system to be anything other than a farce! And then please do not glorify your double standards by coming out only to complain !

Memorabilia Goes Under The Hammer...

Calling upon all the connoisseurs of historical artifacts!
Here is your chance to own a part of History!

We offer you a chance to acquire certain antiquities from the life of a certain Mr. Ameya Vaidya!

These are his priceless possessions which he used during various points of his life. They have been recovered from unimaginable nooks and crevices of a certain place at about 55 feet above sea level in the very heart of the ever vibrant city of Mumbai. If you thought treasures are found only under the overpowering sands of the desert, or leagues under the all encompassing waters of the ocean, or in the midst of wild and dense forests or atop the snow-capped peaks of the mountains, you were wrong!

They are also found in a two bedroom flat in Mumbai!!!

Following is the list of items put up for auction: (refer the above graphic)

1. Nokia 6220: Had been a valued companion during many years; right from std. Xth upto TYBtech Electronics Engineering. It has witnessed the transformation of a nondescript school boy into a good-for-nothing College Kumar!

2. Wristwatch: Original Timex Expedition with leather belt, which even Brett Lee (brand ambassador) does not possess.

3. Spectacles: They hold sentimental value to him because they were responsible in eradicating the tag of Harri Puttar which had become attached to his personna due to his earlier and first pair of dhapans!

4. Old Pencil Box: This is probably the first scientific calculator to be used by him. It was looked upon as a magic wand to survive the gruesome Math Orals which happened twice a week in the primary school days. Ameya thought he could still give answers without knowing the 'tables' by heart! If only it could be allowed during the CAT - he still does not know the tables by heart!

5. Signature Cricket Ball: This is a season ball bearing the autograph of Javagal Srinath-India's leading bowler and the autograph of Coca Cola-one of the world's biggest soft drink brands. Ameya spent a lot of his time during the 1999 world cup consuming coca-cola in order to garner enough bottle caps to win this souvenir!

So it is time for all Vijay Mallays and James Otis' to cash in on this once in a life time opportunity to own a part of History! Yes your cash which comes in(to us) will help us survive this recession!

We shall accept all bids online on the 'Comments' page of this blog. The starting bid for auspicious reasons has been accepted at Rs.1/-...

So bid before the hammer falls!

Note: If any individual or institution objects to this auction they can contact us and we shall think of suspending it only if the same individual or institution sponsors our travel to 78 countries to spread the message of Mr. Ameya Vaidya!

THE PARADOX OF OUR TIMES...

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers,
Wider Expressways but narrower viewpoints.

We spend more but have less, we buy more but enjoy less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences but less time.

We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge but less judgment, more experts yet more problems, more medicine but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch too much TV and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We love too seldom and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living but not a life.
We've added years to life not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.
We have conquered outer space but not inner space.
We've done larger things but not better things.

We talk about cleaning our air, land and water but never remember to stop polluting the soul.
We've conquered the atom but not our prejudice.

We write more but learn less.
We plan more but accomplish less.

We have learned to rush but not to wait.
We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.
These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet to kill!

It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.

Let us remember our true nature and discover our true selves before we get crushed by this cacophonous onslaught of modern life!
Let us remember to give the "Human Nature" of Homo Sapiens Sapiens a chance!

Remember to spend some more time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember to say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person will soon grow up and leave your side.

Remember to give a warm hug to the one next to you because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a rupee.

Remember to say "I Love you' to your partner and your loved ones but most off all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep within you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And remember to give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

And always remember:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away!

The Sub-Prime Crisis

Over the past several weeks everybody has been hit by this global economic crisis. If not financially then definitely mentally (like us). This tectonic financial crisis has captured the attention of people all over the world. Well if your 160 year old company is about to go bust (read Lehman Brothers) then you better panic!

Investors across the world are in total panic. People are losing their hard earned money, established banks and companies are becoming bankrupt, stock markets and currencies are plummeting. Scary situation! Definitely scarier than Ram Gopal Verma Movies at least! So what exactly is this whole thing? And how does it affect us in India? I attempt to address this here, in my new post.

The origins of today’s crisis lie in the progressively digressing US Government policies. Over the last 5 to 6 years, the US administration has successfully rescinded well-placed restrictions and safeguards in the banking and market sector. Regulations regarding granting of loans or restrictions on banks becoming share market speculators have been removed. Any Tom, Dick or Harry can obtain a loan in the US which he otherwise would not have been eligible for. Also there is little control on hedge fund investment companies and this kind of investment can become multi-fold.

Thus as a result, low income (i.e. sub-prime) US households borrowed heavily from banks to buy homes, etc. and then started defaulting on their payments. Then the house prices dropped. So the value of the purchased property decreased and any hopes of positive returns were squashed. This coupled with the inherent tendency or attribute of eating more than they can chew, living beyond their means resulted in compounding defaults on their debt obligations.

Here are few statistics to make it crystal clear. The ratio of outstanding loan to GDP in India is about 60%. Kindly indulge your mind in working some of those Grey cells and make a wild guess about the corresponding figure in the US!

75%, 90%, 95% or 99.999% ? Guys and Gals you hit way below the target! This figure is a staggering and mind boggling 330% in the US and about 240% in the UK! This means their respective GDPs are virtually non existent and feed almost completely on these loans. Thus the sub-prime housing loan market in the US is huge at about 1.4 Trillion $.

Now Wall Street’s Geeks (shrewd and cunning geeks however) repackaged these loans into a very complicated entity called CDO (Collateralized Debt Obligation) and sold these entities to various European and American Banks and financial corporations. This feature is known as the Hedging. It's simple: Suppose I lend you Rs. 100. Now I will sell this loan to a third-party hedge fund for Rs. 90. They in turn will sell it to some one else for Rs.85 and so on. The complexity lies in the calculations of profit and other percentages on these assets. These hedge Fund companies expect huge profit on these instruments in the future. But there is a glitch, a serious and glaring pitfall. What if these housing loans turn bad? The instruments based on them would then lose value. That is what has exactly happened. The defaults on US house loans started increasing and as result CDO prices stated tumbling. Falling prices made the portfolios of the banks ugly and eroded the banks' capital to a large extent thus affecting liquidity.

Also it is interesting to note that banks do not have all the ready cash that they distribute as credit. The inter-bank lending serves the purpose of getting cash-surplus and cash-deficit banks together and fuels the process of giving loans, lending money, etc. to individual consumers (to buy cars, white goods) and also to corporations (working capital,etc.) With increasing market uncertainty banks become suspicious and the inter-bank loan rates are affected. In the past few weeks the inter-bank loan rates have risen from around 3% to about 7%! With no one willing to buy anything the whole situation has become frightening. All over the world inter-bank markets have become frozen and liquidity in the market has taken a toll.

To address this problem the US Government is putting in about $700 billion as a bailout plan. They will buy these bad loans from the banks and improve the cash-flow in the market. Interest rate will be reduced. But remember that it has no Money Tree or a treasure hove, but the money ultimately comes from the tax-payers pocket! In India the apex bank, RBI is trying to address this problem by reducing the CRR (Cash Reserve Ratio) and thus increase the liquidity in the Inter-Bank market.

We in India are slightly cushioned against a very catastrophic financial adversity because our domestic markets are pretty large and secondly because our banks are not exposed to these CDO business to a large extent. According to ICICI and other Indian Banks their institutions are cash-rich and can wade through these troubled times. (I hope it is true!!!) But ultimately Indian Companies have become more global than before and therefore the global economic meltdown in bound to affect our sanctimonious markets. Tatas acquired a host of companies in recent years. This meltdown is surely going to burn a hole in their pockets! Corus would be laughing hysterically right now. They got out with their money and it is the Tatas who now face the acid test!

A large number of Indian sectors might face problems, market pundits believe. This includes hotels, software, some outsourcing services, real estate, infrastructure, construction, banking, stock broking, mutual funds, and to some extent air travel. Hotels, mainly those in big cities that cater to business travelers, are largely dependent upon foreign tourists. In India, most foreign tourists are from the UK, followed by the US. Moreover, the October-December period is peak travel time and the impact could be higher on hotels because the pace of blow-ups in the US has recently peaked.

The software industry, one of India's largest export-earners, is almost certain to be affected. The industry earns more than 60% of its revenue from the US and the recent spate of closures and mergers will mean the trimming of various software-related services, analysts believe. It could be a mixed bag for the BPO sector. While some BPOs, which were heavily dependent on the BFSI sector, could see their fortunes dwindling, some high-end BPOs with substantial cost advantage could see more business coming their way.

The real estate sector, which was booming just a few months ago, could be affected in a major way. Industry players predict that real estate companies could suffer because of high property prices, high interest rates, and lower demand from IT-BPO companies and reduced availability of speculative funds because of bad stock market conditions. A slowing real estate sector could also lead to a slowdown in the construction industry. This in turn is likely to affect the cement and steel sectors. The construction industry could also suffer from a slowdown when it comes to new projects.

The US crisis and the resulting slowdown in India are also expected to weaken the Indian Rupee. It touched 49 Rs. to a Dollar yesterday! This in turn would mean a higher oil-import bill. With almost no scope to adjust prices, companies selling petroproducts are likely to be hit. Stockbrokers too are expected to suffer as the market slides, volume of trade dwindles and speculators vanish from Dalal Street. Big players and brokers with deep pockets could survive the tough times, but the smaller ones may be forced either to fold up or sell out, market veterans say. Also because the Rupee gets weaker, the software companies and other firms which earn in dollars will benefit from the stronger dollar as there net earning might increase and this might balance the reduction in business. Also petroleum prices are falling so the weakening of Rupee would not have a drastic impact. The assurances of our PM to achieve a GDP growth of 7% are hence pragmatic and not illusionary.

So this, my friends is the whole thing. I sincerely hope that you find this post informative. And as far ass the economic problem is concerned let our Dads worry, we better worry about our submissions and exams!

Writing Nightmare...Literally

Evil, Devil, Sinful, Wicked, Criminal, Nefarious, Depraved, Iniquitous, Pernicious...

Alright Guys and Gals you don't need a dictionary nor those filthy little things called flash cards - which have now become a yardstick to measure your chances of flying to ('Oh... I am losing my Money which I never really had') America. As I was saying, all these words are really easy to understand, comprehend and then remember if you happen to know our math professor! Yes, this person is the epitome of all the above adjectives!

Over the last night I have burned the midnight oil, left no stone unturned, to finish what everybody calls a ASSignment. Man I have written so much that I feel I have become a sort of Human Printer...HP should start a new series...


Vaidya Series!...Fast printers to solve all your ASSignment troubles...Just provide all the material and it will be copied word to word, letter to letter, angle to angle to angle, line to line, etc as fast as lightning.

The only solace was my little iPod which dutifully kept playing songs to keep me company in those unearthly hours! Last night's playlist on my iPod contained a staggering 111 songs...ok Dickie Bird can do his dance (the English umpire and not my dear friend mind you) for reasons known to him alone (I doubt whether he is aware of the reason himself). Even the ghosts were afraid of me yesterday night. They told me that they were previously of the opinion that Humans don't really exist and are only a fictional creation to scare them. But now I have removed their doubts. They were petrified. I tried inquiring whether they knew of someone amongst them who taught at VJTI but they answered in the negative. They said the only person they know is Ram Gopal Verma, the comedian.

I think my fingers and my arms emit a weird mechanical sound every time they start to write. They must ban this torture. This is worst than third degree torture. It is more like a 14,567 degree torture. Apply this to Abu Salem or anyone equally (in)famous and they will be blurting out all the secrets and all the information you need! And it does not end here...Part two was officially launched today!

I really wonder how much paper, ink, pencil carbon(it is not lead-plumbum), etc. we waste in our four years of Engineering! Collect all this stuff ( journal, assignment, tutorial) of this college and distribute it amongst the US Banks. They will make an amazing amount of money out of scrap(Raddi) and they wont need a 700 billion dollar bail-out!

HaHa Ha - Why so serious!

The Passing of an Enigma...The End of an Era

There are the Maestros,
There are the Dons,
and then
There is Dada !

The prince of Calcutta, The God of the Off-Side, The Royal Bengal Tiger,... ; the epithets for Sourav 'Dada' Ganguly are diverse and numerous. But the writing on the wall is just one...'This really is the last series you are going to see the phenomenon, the master, the persona par excellence, in action on field! He might still oblige Rukh-Rukh Khan in the second edition of IPL.


It has been a rough ride for Sourav all the way along...


The Boy from Behala made his debut in 1992, in the ODI series in Australia but was shockingly given the boot after just one failure(vs WI). He emerged four years later, literally from the ashes and purely on fantastic domestic performances but a smear campaign was started by his back trackers claiming that he was in the team courtesy Jagmohan Dalmiya.


Dada answered by scoring a blazing hundred on (Test) Debut versus England at the famous Lords. Anyone daring to say that this was just a flash in the pan had to wait for only a few more days. Dada followed this with another hundred at Nottingham! A star was born and there was no denying it.

As his career progressed Indian Cricket had regressed under the captaincy of Mohammad Azaruddin and even Sachin could not change it when he took over the reins as Captain and that too twice. Then the match-fixing scandal rocked Indian cricket and India was at it's Nadir!

In such adverse times the board offered the captaincy to Ganguly and the rest as they say is history! The space in this blog falls short to mention all the histrionics, achievements and records of this great man; so i will say this one thing only : India was metamorphosed into a fighting, confident and aggressive unit capable of beating anyone anywhere due to this one man alone!!!

While grace and timing were the hallmarks of Sourav Ganguly's cricket, I am not sure whether this sudden decision to ride into the sunset was true to those qualities. But such is the situation in Indian Cricket. It does not help if you have been the most consistent performer in Tests for over two seasons! You still have to prove yourself constantly. This is what happens when non-cricketing, money and power hungry politicians become the powers-that-be and control the BCCI

I cannot write more because my eyes well-up...but Dada, We always loved you and we always will!

I am of the strong opinion that Sourav will end his career on a high as he is the kind of man who never goes down without a fight! Go Dada Go...Give the aussies and the idiots in BCCI a piece of your mind and score runs by the ton. And even if you do end up scoring a hundred in every match of the series do not look back because you donot deserve to be in this quagmire...u deserve better...BCCI President!

Finally...9 Point Someone !

Chetan Bhagat is frantically pacing the confines of his office! He is in total disarray! His secretary just broke him the news...

There is a 9 Point Someone in town! And he is going to give them tough competition! Rumours have it that the new book, which this mystery man is going to write is going to be a total blockbuster! And of course it is not titled '9 Point Someone' ! It is going to be called... ' Finally...9 Point Someone !'

The author of this blog ( that must be me, i think) takes pride in announcing that he knows this 9 Point (Sum)One! Well the entire Electronics department knows him of course. And much of VJTI also! He is Electronics' answer to Electricals' Vipul; with respect to his gastric indulgences! We shall now see the birth ...the death... and the final Resurrection of his 9 Pointer!

So Mr. 9 Pointer slogs hard but ends up with a non 9 pointer! Sad situation. A few tears flow, a heart is broken;possibly two hearts :P and the appetite must have been disturbed. But the Strong Man that he is Mr. 9 Pointer ploughs through it all. Now a few days back he was dealt with a sudden blow! That blow hit many a fellow students. The grades of a certain subject called BCOM were automatically modified though many had not requested such indulgences from the Exam Section at VJTI.

Coming back to the blow: it was a really bad one if u were on the wrong side of it! If your grades showed an upward trend then u were obviously delighted and would be trying to do the Salsa and Tango at the same time, but otherwise u felt like burning the place down!

Our 9 Pointer thankfully landed on the right side of the curve! This was long due for his hard work and it was totally a correct revision in his case. The Controller of this (In)famous department is a very naive controller! But it is wrong to judge by appearances. Despite his expression, which was that of a yokel having a sudden bright idea, and his mode of speech, which might put u in mind of a small, breathless, neurotic but ridiculously expensive dog, he might well have been a kind, generous and sincere man!

So Mr. 9 pointer was basking in the glory of his achievement or rather trying not to bask in the pervasive glory of his achievement which he kept saying was a case of Sreesanth getting lucky and actually giving less than 20 runs in an over; we friends knew better. He was trying to be modest!

But believe me being a 9 Pointer is not as simple as people think. At least, it is not simple if your ambitions include being a 9 Pointer tomorrow as well! Well the most unlucky incident took place just hours after his coronation as a 9 Pointer! The very important document called Marksheet ( previously supplied on a sheet of paper which would make even a roadside bhelpuri-waala to laugh out in mockery) which clearly stated his promotion to the League Of 9 Pointers was stripped of him suddenly! They said it was erroneous and would be corrected! Thus was the birth and demise of his 9 Pointer!

The next morning the Same Section again asked us to collect our marksheets. They were almost same as given before and we wondered whether the Section found no anomalies or it was just plane bored! Thus saw the resurrection of his 9 Pointer!

This Resurrection was more critical and dramatic than even the resurrections happening in the K serials ! 9 Point Someone was thrilled and finally heaved a sigh of relief so strong that it could have blown a 51, 54 and 67 Kg boxer back to Beijing!

And now the footnote:
Hyundai has Shahrukh (Rukh Rukh) Khan, Toyota have Aamir, Chevrolet has Saif and Logan has Kunal Kapoor, etc. Wondered why Honda haven't signed up anyone yet? Yes u Guessed it right, they were waiting for the biggest celebrity of the year: Our Very Own, 'Finally...9 Point Someone'. Grapevine has it that his household had promised to buy him a Honda City if he broke into the League of 9 Pointers and only an i10 for anything other than a 9! So we are all waiting for a drive in ur car, Mr. 9 Point Someone!


P.S. : The author offers a brand new iphone for anyone correctly guessing the real identity of our illustrious '9 Point Someone'. While reading the previous sentence you must keep in mind that the author is completely mad. Please leave your comments and guess the identity of our celebrity!